Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
