I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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