It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
try to milk me bitch
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
