Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Congratulations! We have a period
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
