another moral hangover. fuck.
I want to have your abortion
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
