I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
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my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize