how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
