Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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