party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
