Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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