My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
