I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
one two three fourrrrnication!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize