yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize