That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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