I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
