Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
