hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So much rum. So many feels.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
