Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
