Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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