i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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