a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
