i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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