Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
