The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
we're so committed to being not committed
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug