Texts From Last Night

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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...

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  (304): apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training... http://tfl.nu/a5eu
  Replies (36) Good night (4043) Bad night (641) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.

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  (408): i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now. http://tfl.nu/4x4e
  Replies (16) Good night (793) Bad night (5666) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets

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  (650): I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets http://tfl.nu/bg6i
  Replies (28) Good night (4595) Bad night (2038) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.

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  (618): When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/ntsr
  Replies (9) Good night (3476) Bad night (1065) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer

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  (813): The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer http://tfl.nu/rmdc
  Replies (19) Good night (3705) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...

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  (818): Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth... http://tfl.nu/7gxw
  Replies (13) Good night (1310) Bad night (5217) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table

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  (630): It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table http://tfl.nu/i2oz
  Replies (25) Good night (1363) Bad night (4042) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?

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  (778): Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight? http://tfl.nu/8s8e
  Replies (7) Good night (4097) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.

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  (586): I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life. http://tfl.nu/7ulw
  Replies (15) Good night (780) Bad night (2688)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches

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  (828): i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches http://tfl.nu/n6i5
  Replies (4) Good night (1886) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?

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  (918): They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down? http://tfl.nu/j8kx
  Replies (5) Good night (1988) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.

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  (727): If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take. http://tfl.nu/cnz2
  Replies (10) Good night (767) Bad night (1388) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??

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  (580): Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come?? http://tfl.nu/rcqs
  Replies (7) Good night (1004) Bad night (381) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....

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  (404): All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused.... http://tfl.nu/ik1s
  Replies (6) Good night (1559) Bad night (257) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.

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  (604): I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself. http://tfl.nu/ea90
  Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (259) Order T-Shirt

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