And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus