i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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