ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
