He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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