Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
