quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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