Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
