Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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