im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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