I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
