walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
