I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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