This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
