i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
