I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i think my cat just said my name.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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