sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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