You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
