I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
