So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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