never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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