Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
