Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
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Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
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he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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