I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
