i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
