do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
