im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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