I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
