in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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