Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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