not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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