my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize