He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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