She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
