if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize